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Motomco Tomcat All Weather Bait Chunx, 9-Pound

"Ten Reasons To Live In A Van."

By Ken Ilgunas, who lived in a van to avoid student debt while he attended Duke University.

"Vandwelling," you might expect, had more than its share of drawbacks. Mice would move into my ceiling upholstery, washing pots and pans became so inconvenient I stopped washing them altogether, and the bathroom was a quarter-mile sprint from my parking space.

But people adapt, mice are flattened with frying pans, and bladders grow firm and strong.

Pots and pans? I don't get why you'd cook inside the van. But, okay. Note that the hardship is mitigated by using Duke University resources: the parking space, the gym for showers, etc. Obviously, if more students tried to do this the university would crack down. And you couldn't get away with this at a school — like the University of Wisconsin — with limited parking. And yet... there's always that parking at Walmart. And a gym membership is much cheaper than renting an apartment....

Here's the book Ilgunas wrote about his experience: "Walden on Wheels: On The Open Road from Debt to Freedom."

"Getting a literature Ph.D. will turn you into an emotional trainwreck, not a professor."

This is scarcely news. This is something everyone I knew already knew 30 years ago, but this Slate article is very well written, with some nice references to Kafka, the subject of Rebecca Schuman's thesis. So good luck to Schuman in the life an independent writer.

There’s a little fable from Kafka, appropriately called “A Little Fable,” that speaks to why this was very stupid:

"Alas," said the mouse, "the world gets smaller every day. At first it was so wide that I ran along and was happy to see walls appearing to my right and left, but these high walls converged so quickly that I’m already in the last room, and there in the corner is the trap into which I must run."

"But you’ve only got to run the other way," said the cat, and ate it.

The mouse wasn’t going in the wrong direction so much as it was walking cat food the entire time. A graduate career is just like this, only worse, because “A Little Fable” lasts three sentences and is made up, while graduate school lasts at least six years and will ruin your life in a very real way. But, as in the fable, this ruin is predestined, and completely unrelated to how “right” you do things.

By the way, aren't we all Kafka's mouse, running toward certain death, with the only other option being a premature death?  

Grand Valley State University pays $40,000 to settle lawsuit over a student's emotional-support guinea pig.

Even though the university had allowed the student — because of her depression — to keep the rodent in the otherwise pet-free dorm, the restriction on bringing it to classes and into the food-service places was, she argued, a failure to make reasonable accommodations.

If you're trying to decide what to complain about here, the salient fact is that the university settled. 

As for the psychological benefits of carrying a rodent to school, I think about the young Keith Richards:

For companionship I kept pets. I had a cat and a mouse, Gladys. I would bring her to school and have a chat in the French lesson when it got boring. I'd feed her my dinner and lunch, and I'd come home with a pocketful of mouse shit. Mouse shit doesn't matter. It comes out in hardened pellets, there's no pong involved, it's not squidgy or anything like that. You just empty you pockets and out come these pellets. Gladys was true and trusted. She very rarely poked her head out of the pocket and exposed herself to instant death.

Dead baby mice to be dropped, one by one, by hand, from U.S. military helicopters in Guam.

"U.S. government scientists have been perfecting the mice-drop strategy for more than a decade with support from the Department of Defense and the Department of the Interior."

To keep the mice bait from dropping all the way to the ground, where it could be eaten by other animals or attract insects as they rot, researchers have developed a flotation device with streamers designed to catch in the branches of the forest foliage, where the [brown tree] snakes live and feed.

So, they spent more than a decade... doing what? Designing parachutes for dead mice? (Paging Senator Paul.)