"Lazy Men Are Responsible for the Great Orgasm Deficit."

A headline at Cosmopolitan. Excerpt:

These days, it feels like men are letting themselves off the hook for one-sided orgasms a little too easily.... "I know some women don't have orgasms every time. Don't worry about it." Now that he's framed it like you're the one who's being forgiven for your tricky, finicky genitals...

Framing. It's not just for politics.

And since the new study on the low rate of female orgasm has emerged, so have myriad response pieces (by women) about how sex feels good even without an orgasm, and how orgasms are almost besides the point.

Are they? Sure, it's true, to a point. But is this just a rationalization to continue letting men off the hook and Criss Angel Mindfreak women into thinking that their own orgasms aren't as important as the man's?

I had to look up Criss Angel Mindfreak. I thought it referred to some character who puts her all into pleasing men, but apparently it's the name of a reality TV show about a magician named Criss Angel. Mindfreak isn't part of the performer's name I was disappointed to learn.

That short Cosmo article used the phrase "off the hook" twice, and the about the new study — which went to another Cosmo article — is about the orgasm deficit in during "hookup" sex. Too many hooks!

And Cosmo math is terrible. The headline at that linked article says "Only Half of All Women Orgasm During Casual Sex," and the text says:

Today in ~*~*Duh, Science~*~*, research presented at the International Academy of Sex Research’s annual meeting reflects that women are half as likely to orgasm during oral or penetrative sex as a casual hookup versus either of those sex acts in a relationship.

~*~*Duh, Math~*~*

5 headlines from The Daily News.

1. "Couple having sex against window fall to their deaths."

2. "Woman, 70, with severe wound kept alive by hundreds of maggots after daughter leaves her to rot."

3. "Woman in the Netherlands had five to six 'foot orgasms' a day."

4. "California woman sentenced to life in prison for chopping off ex-husband's penis, then grinding it in garbage disposal."

5. "Son plants bomb in mom’s suitcase, killing her and 43 others during flight." (This happened in 1955.)

"My boyfriend talks too much during sex."

"We've been together for a year and recently he's started talking to me while we're intimate. At first it was everyday stuff like what he wants for dinner but then essentially he began ranting. Do you know how hard it is to climax while listening to someone talk about how many bands have produced 'disappointing second albums'? I don't know if I can go on like this."

This woman is so against talking that she can't talk.

If you give the other person the impression that you like something that person is doing during sex, they'll probably do more of it. At this point, she's been so withholding of communication that he should find her quite unappealing if she finally does speak up. Writing a letter to an advice columnist instead of talking to him? She thinks he's being unsexy, but she's unsexier. And the 2 of them are unsexy in completely opposite ways. But she's being unfair to him, while he is trying to please her, continuing with the thing that she's pretending to like. Plus, you've got to read between the lines and see that this man has great sexual endurance. He's talking about all manner of things because he's going on for — what? — hours. And all she's really thinking is: When will this be over? And by "over" all she even means is: When will my body do that orgasm thing in spite of this guy?

Back off, lady, and let somebody who appreciates fuck talking have him.

G-Shot.

It might work.