ADDED: David in the comments guesses longevity, which is wrong. I don't think commenter David is David Sedaris, but in the new David Sedaris book, Sedaris describes his father's formula for longevity:
The secret, he tells me, is to eat seven gin-soaked raisins a day.
“Blond or dark?” I asked.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Could I possibly cut out the gin part? Marinate them in, I don’t know, coffee or something.”
“Do you want to live or don’t you?” he asked.
When I told my father about Dan’s prophecy [that the first person who’ll reach the age of two hundred has already been born], he said, “Aw, baloney. A twenty-year-old kid in Holland, what does he know?”
“He learned it in school.”
“No, he didn’t,” my father said. “The guy was just pulling your leg.” He had a similar opinion of the plastic bags hanging in Francine’s doorway [for keeping the flies away]. “It’s just a load of BS.”
“As opposed to seven gin-soaked raisins keeping you alive until you’re eighty-nine?”
“Hey,” he said, “those raisins work!”
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