"We are not going to recognize the result until every vote is counted, one by one."

Said Henrique Capriles Radonski, as the Venezuelan electoral votes came in very close. "The big loser today is you, you and what you represent," he added, referring to Nicolás Maduro, whom Hugo Chávez chose as his successor.

Maduro, for his part, said "We have a just, legal, constitutional and popular electoral victory."

"15 People Who Think Google Is Honoring Hugo Chávez."

"Hugo Chávez was the socialist president of Venezuela; Cesar Chavez was a labor leader and civil rights activist. See the difference?"

ADDED: "But to a small minority of conservatives thumping away at their keyboards on Easter Sunday it was something more sinister. It was a slight on Jesus. Worse still, it was a slight on Jesus directed by the White House, and in particular Barack Obama, America's Kenyan-born Muslim leader, probably."

"Hugo Chavez’s body will be preserved and forever displayed inside a glass tomb at a military museum..."

"... not far from the presidential palace from which he ruled for 14 years, his successor announced Thursday in a Caribbean version of the treatment given Communist revolutionary leaders like Lenin, Mao and Ho Chi Minh."

So reports the Associated Press. How they know what's going to happen forever is beyond me.

What I really mean to say is: The Associated Press should be ashamed of itself.

"My doctor told me that I’m old, fat, and ugly, but none of those things is going to kill me immediately..."

"The actuaries say I have six to eight years. The best tables give me 10. Three thousand days, more or less.... I’m ready. Everybody fears the unknown. But I have a strong feeling there’s something bigger than us.... I don’t think all this exists because some rocks happened to collide. I’m at peace. When it comes, I’ll be fine, calm. I’ll miss life, though. Especially my family."

Said Roger Ailes the head of Fox News.  

I wonder what people of the left will say when he dies. Will we get the kind of "hell has a new resident" crude clichés we're hearing today from righties celebrating the departure of Hugo Chavez?

Drudge: "Bye Bye."

Irreverence at the death of Hugo Chavez.

Before we let one suicide end a great tradition of fun and puncturing pomposity...

... let's remember great moments in prank calls:

The Queen in 1995 spent 17 minutes talking to a man she thought was the prime minister of Canada. It was actually Pierre Brassard, a Canadian radio presenter and impressionist.

In 1998, Prime Minister Tony Blair took a call from a man claiming to be William Hague, leader of the Opposition. He immediately realised it was a hoax but took it in good humour....

Cuban leader Fidel Castro unleashed a volley of abuse after being hoaxed in 2004 by a Miami radio station presenter pretending to be Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

The Miami djs had previously tricked Chavez into thinking he was talking to Castro. I found the audio of Castro talking to not-Chavez (untranslated Spanish), and here's the English transcript of Chavez talking to not-Castro:

''I'll do what you're asking me to... But I'm going to be harmed, I confess to you,'' Castro says.

Silence from Chávez. Castro goes on: "Everything's set for Tuesday.''

''Everything's set for Tuesday,'' Chávez repeats, obviously befuddled. "I don't understand.''...

Miami's Spanish-language radio stations often play outlandish practical jokes on the air, and Castro's Cuba is one of their favorite targets. Hispanic Broadcasting Corp.'s WRTO Salsa 98.3 FM has a segment dubbed Calls to Cuba in which the morning-drive hosts, known as Los Fonomemecos, call businesses and agencies on the island with some ridiculous request or inquiry.

In a recent segment, a DJ posing as a high-ranking Cuban military officer called a Havana funeral home to request a coffin -- for Castro. The mortician burst into sobs.

Chávez, known for his folksy manner, isn't above playing jokes himself.

For the past Day of the Innocents, Latin Americans' version of April Fool's Day that is celebrated Dec. 28, he announced on the radio that he was tired and going to resign. He then changed his tone. ''Ha ha! You fell for it!'' he laughed.

Oh, yeah. April Fool's Day. That's going to have to be abolished, lest someone's feelings are hurt and suicide ensues. But Day of the Innocents... had you heard about that? Which cultures are disparately impacted by suppression of pranking? This is an angle that will, I think, soften the urge to repress that bedevils the nannies of the United States and Britain.