"Sack of potatoes subdued without incident."

"A Kalispell Police officer and a Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks officer were able to remove a five-pound sack of potatoes reported hanging from a tree on Seventh Street East that looked like it might fall into the street. Apparently, the potatoes were subdued without causing any mayhem."

"An extremely drunken man who lost track of time called 911 to ask what day it was."

News from Flathead, Montana.

"The people of Iowa are a whole lot like the people of Montana. And, of course, New Hampshire’s a lot like Montana."

"We don’t have a sales tax. 'Live Free or Die' — we understand that notion in Montana."

Thinking out loud about running for President.

That thought, expressed by Brian Schweitzer — ever heard of him? — reminds me of the discussion we were having last month about "national psychology" — "the (real or alleged) distinctive psychological make-up of particular nations, ethnic groups or peoples, and... the comparative study of those characteristics in social psychology, sociology, political science and anthropology."

The assumption of national psychology is that different ethnic groups, or the people living in a national territory, are characterized by a distinctive "mix" of human attitudes, values, emotions, motivation and abilities which is culturally reinforced by language, the family, schooling, the state and the media.

It's out of fashion:

Politically and morally... it is conducive to racist generalisations about people... [and] may lead directly to ascriptive discrimination against foreigners, meaning that one's own people are regarded as naturally superior....

Scientifically, because... [even if] generalizations and distinctions drawn are valid, they may be too general, or require too many qualifications, to be useful. There is an intrinsic difficulty involved in verifying national-psychological characteristics scientifically in any positivistic sense.... 

But when we step down a level of generality and talk about the psychology of the people of the various states of the United States, we somehow lose the sense that we're doing something wrong. Why?

1. Because this is a type of thinking that springs quite naturally to the human mind, and so much of it is forbidden. What little access to the relief of spewing such notions remains is so valuable to people that they self-protectively inure themselves to the problem.

2. Because even consciously thinking about it now, stereotypes about people from particular states don't seem too harmful. We're fortunate as Americans to have inherited these strange internal borderlines with charming names like Iowa and Montana, and our various thoughts about the people in these places gives texture and dimension to our concept of the people of America. It's not one big mass, it's We the People of the united STATES of America. It's a helpful visualization, even if it's pretty dumb — a map, with farmers standing on Iowa and so forth.

3. ???

Concerned... and vindictive...

... in Montana:

A concerned Lakeside Boulevard resident reported two men and three women, all drunk, were shooting a potato gun in the park to the south, and wanted to know if the activity was legal....

A concerned passerby reported a vehicle parked in the middle of 13th Street West with a rifle leaning against the passenger seat. The passerby just wanted the motorist advised that he can’t park in the middle of the street.

A vindictive 12th Avenue West resident contacted the Columbia Falls Police Department to report that her neighbor complained about her on Monday, and now she wanted to complain about the neighbor.

ALSO: "After receiving a 911 hang-up call, [Whitefish Police Department] called the man back to check on his well-being. He said everything was OK and that he was testing his phone and that he thought he hung up before it went through. He then said he was a 'sovereign United States citizen' who pays taxes, and that the person who called him back was invading his space."

Green stuff... a kick in the head... U R Dead... hypochondria on U.S. 93 South...

Let's take a break from our mundane cares to check out — as we often do on this blog — who's been calling the police in Montana:

An irate motorist on Helena Flats Road reported a big sprayer truck spraying green stuff all over and was adamant the [activity] be stopped. It was eventually discovered the truck was only spraying grass seeds and mulch.

A Martin City man was knocked unconscious when his daughter kicked him in the head. When he came to, she was kicking him in the face. He refused medical treatment....

An astute Elk Trail woman in Whitefish suspected her ex after finding “U R Dead” scratched into the hood of her vehicle....

A hypochondriac on U.S. 93 South asked a passerby to call 911 after he stepped on a thermometer, claiming he now had mercury poisoning. The passerby reported the man smelled like alcohol and was hard to understand, and all the passerby could see was wrong with the man was that he was dizzy.

The man in the trench coat and clown makeup "carrying a big piece of glass shaped like a sword" tries to cash a check.

"The creepy clown-man was later reported sitting at a U.S. 93 South bar talking to himself with the piece of glass sitting next to him. The caller from the bar also noted the man was wearing a dress." And:

A customer service manager at a U.S. 93 North business reported a problem with a threatening customer who had used a threatening tone. He said the woman “made his skin crawl” and that he didn’t trust her....

A youth who accidentally called police while trying to call Pizza Hut was extremely rude and not forthcoming with information, eventually saying “what the (expletive), is this a new (expletive) law or something?”...

A man who shared with the Whitefish Police Department his belief that youths at the beach who were being loud were also possibly getting in his truck told a dispatcher that someone needed to investigate before he got out his .45 and handled it himself.

A tiny three-legged dog not wearing a collar or tags — but wearing a brown and white sweater — followed a woman to her Park Avenue home and wouldn’t leave for some time....

A man who was either ignorant or apathetic of the law was arrested for resisting arrest and having an open container on Central Avenue.

"A woman in a Third Avenue West apartment was reported trying to catch bugs that weren’t there...."

Time to get back to the old Inter Lake police blotter news:

An Appleway Drive boy reported his mother was drunk and trying to kick him out. She told officers she was kicking him out due to his drinking and drug activity....

An officer assisted a man crawling in the middle of East First Street....

The Columbia Falls Police Department received a report from a confused First Avenue West North resident who said a man tried to come into the house and give the resident a $1,000 ticket, but didn’t say what kind. The resident told the man “I’m not interested” and shut the door.